Southern Sweep - Day 3

We began our first full Tuscaloosa day at City Grille, and a huge breakfast.  Grits, eggs, sausages, biscuits...

 

Yes, those are grits. Anything that's half butter can't be bad.

The review said the breakfast was dynamite, and I have to agree.

Then a jaunt out to a place called "Pie Lab"--which was unfortunately closed.

On the way back, we stopped at the Moundville Archeological Park

 

Back at 'Bama, and the world's second largest Starbucks at the Student Union

  

Two more pics at the University...

 

We stopped at Steel City Pops--an artisinal popsicle store. I had Pumpkin, while Mindy had Cherry Sour Cream.

Later we had dinner with Abby and her friend Will at an Irish pub. We were worn out, so it's off to bed.

Tomorrow--sleeping in, lots of driving, and a loooonng bridge.

 

Southern Sweep - Day 2

We drove into Nashville and the GPS sent us straight into Titans tailgating--wasn't sure if we would get out, since we kept being directed back into the fray.

We finally made it over to Broadway (the touristy area).

They make boots big in Tennessee

An Elvis sighting

Various signage

Goo-Goo-Goodness

 

We then took a quick jaunt to Greece--no,no.  There's an exact copy of the Parthenon in Nashville.

 

Of course, no trip would be complete without a giant chicken with a chef hat (Elkton, TN)

 

Onto Tuscaloosa!

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas.

How he got in my pajamas, I don't know.

Then we tried to remove the tusks. The tusks. That's not so easy to say. Tusks.

You try it some time. As I say, we tried to remove the tusks.

But they were embedded so firmly we couldn't budge them.

Of course, in Alabama the Tuscaloosa,

but that is entirely ir-elephant to what I was talking about.

Groucho in Animal Crackers (Movie)

Abby gave us a tour of the University of Alabama--Roll Tide! 

We also went down to the boat dock (Abby's on the rowing team)

Finally, we took Abby out to a BBQ place—decent food plus cheesy muffins! We’re still in “vinegary” sauce territory though.

 

Tomorrow - Southern food, lack of pies, and more 'Bama.

Southern Sweep - Day 1

We've been talking forever about taking a drive through the deep south. We have three nieces who are attending schools and/or living in Alabama, Louisiana, and Texas respectively. We decided to get off our duff and do it before they graduate.  

We left around 8:30 from Columbus, which got us to Louisville in time for lunch. We stopped at the "Frankfort Ave Beer Depot and Smokehouse", a hole in the wall place with decent online reviews.  Mindy wanted to try the "Hillbilly Wontons" appetizer, but they were out. We ended up with our third choice, the fried green beans. The brsket sandwich was unremarkable, if small.  The baked beans had a lot of smoke and bourbon flavor, and the sauce was vinegary as expected.  Probably wouldn't return--more atmosphere than taste.

We later stopped at Mammoth Cave, but didn't go in (tours were booked, plus there's a bat fungus issue we would rather avoid).

But we couldn't miss...

We later stopped to borrow some WiFi and book a room--Mindy's sister Amy had just come in to see her daughter Abby's game (she's on the rowing team), so we spent some time simultaneously searching websites and texting. Turned out almost everything was booked, but we found a place with two rooms fairly close--ended up being across the street.

Met up with Amy and her husband Don, hit up a Mexican place--again across the street--and hit the hay.

Tomorrow--Nashville, Goo-Goo, a monument on the wrong continent, a giant chicken, and 'Bama.

QISE Review - Winter Edition - Day 16 and the Closing Ceremony

We’re into the final day of competition, but first let’s catch up on last night…

• Another video package?? At least this one is about a current athlete—Steve Holcomb’s experimental vision surgery that saved his career.
• Ski announcer Todd Brooker on Ted Ligety’s failed slalom run: “A lot of mistakes at the start...not a really good way to get going.” Thanks for that expert commentary.
• We got an “agony of defeat” moment from one of the Canadian Bobsled teams—they rolled their sled in a turn, then slid mostly upside down for the rest of the course. Fortunately, no one was seriously hurt.

Coming around the clubhouse turn...

• We begin with more Hockey—in this case, the gold medal game. After a half hour pre-game, it’s time for more fast forwarding.
• Al Michaels is kicked out of the Fortress on his last day in favor of Dan Patrick. Perhaps he had a plane to catch.
• Prime time begins with—a documentary about the Nancy Kerrigan/Tonya Harding debacle. I think it’s extremely cynical for the Peacock to produce this travesty which looks like it was lifted from Inside Edition.
• Ah—Michaels was pulled from afternoon coverage so he could host the Closing Ceremony along with Cris Collinsworth, both comfortable covering sports on Sunday night. Not the people I would pick to describe a mostly artistic presentation. Fortunately, Pozner came along for the ride.
• The Closing Ceremony begins with—aw, not the little girl again!
• Vertical fluorescent bulbs, a boat in the air, and people running wearing tinsel clothing—you figure it out. It is a cool effect, though.
• The US athletes wisely chose to change out of their ugly Chistmas sweaters for their final appearance.
• After the QISE flag handoff, we get the South Korean presentation. Very pretty, if perplexing—human birds, trees of light…
• As the QISE flame goes out, the Russkies close out the ceremony with some big-ass mirrors and giant mascots in the stadium. Is this weird enough for you, folks?

Well, that about does it. See you in Rio!

QISE Review - Winter Edition - Day 15

Catching up from last night…

• Speed Skating Team Pursuit is another one of these silly sports where you follow closely behind another skater and “draft” the leader. The whiny US team quickly lost—leaving them with zero medals in the disclpine.
• We also got the final of Short Track Speed Skating, which determines the fastest man and woman on ice!* Viktor Ahn was the big winner for Russia**

*who doesn’t crash or is taken out by another skater
**since the South Korean Skating Federation pissed him off, so he defected

Moving onto Saturday’s coverage…

• …and Al Michaels checks in at the Fortress for the last weekend.
• NBC showed a 45 minute documentary on a Russian hockey team that died in a plane crash. Wow—how upbeat. You didn’t have some Curling on tape? Maybe some lower-ranked figure skaters you previously edited out?
• Prime time begins with—another video package that has virtually nothing to do with QISE. A paraplegic swimmer finds her roots in Russia. Nice, but have we run out of events?
• After a few sports odds and ends, NBC shows an interview with new QISE President Thomas Bach. Clearing out the tape vault, apparently.
• He doesn’t want to talk about Russia’s civil rights record—I was reminded of a line from Monty Python—“This is supposed to be a happy occasion! Let’s not argue and bicker about who killed who…"
• At least we get the Figure Skating exhibition—with Lipinski and Weir (wearing weeds in their hair) doing the commentary.  The exhibition is basically an audition for the Ice Capades.

One more day to go... 

QISE Review - Winter Edition - Day 14

Catching up from last night…

• NBC was barreling through the women’s Figure Skating Free Skate—not a lot of video packages—which does not bode well for the US team. The Peacock would be generating more buzz if they were going to win.
• We got a final video before the top six skated, then a lot of stats from Andrea Joyce—place your bets, folks!
• Lipnitskaya went down again. Bezic quote: “She casts a spell”.
• Kostner skated clean. Hamilton quote: “She makes the ice look very small when she’s on it”.
• Sotnikova mostly skated clean. Hamilton: “She's like a cash register—she keeps ringing it up”. Again with the rhythmic clapping from the audience…
• Gracie Gold goes down. Bezic: “...classic style that doesn’t need adornment”. No gold for Gold.
• Wagner skated clean. Hamilton: “She is just PERFORMING!”
• Kim skated clean. Bezic: “A performance for the ages!”
• …and the winner is—Sotnikova!! Proving that complexity beats artistry.
• Prime time finishes up with a multi-minute ad for “The Voice”. Huh?

Onto Friday’s coverage…

• Could they make the Biathlon Relay more complicated? 4 skiers per team, each skis 3 laps, you get 5 bullets in the magazine for 5 targets in prone and standing positions, but you get three more bullets that must be hand loaded, except on a Tuesday at night, aces are wild, no backsies…
• In prime time, Costas goes off on Putin’s rule in an editorial—I guess we’re close enough to the finish line that NBC feels safe in attacking their hosts.
• A phrase we’ve gotten sick of, referring to the lousy weather conditions—“sugary snow”.
• Hey Johnny Weir—did you get that bow tie from the Soupy Sales collection?
• NBC spent about 30 minutes hyping Mikaela Shiffrin’s second slalom skiing run—we heard “Mikaela's run coming up” over and over. Do you think she won?  Hmmm….

More to come.

QISE Review - Winter Edition - Day 13

I’m falling farther and farther behind—let’s see what we can get through.

• Extreme facial closeups, the coaches are miked, there’s a hush in the arena—must be time for the top women in Figure Skating.
• (In my best Howard Cosell) Down goes Lipnitskaya! Down goes Lipnitskaya! We’ll see if she can come back in the Free Skate.
• Ashley Wagner—the only US skater who didn’t get an intro package—had some problems, but didn’t generate a meme-worthy face this time.
• In the late show, Nancy Kerrigan is wheeled in to give some post-game analysis.
• Parallel Giant Slalom?  OK—now you’re just picking sport terms out of a hat.

Onto Thursday’s coverage…

• Hockey is well suited to DVR-viewing (at least for me). Fast-forward, watch the score at the upper left, then back it up when it changes to see the goal. I got through Canadian women's win over the US in about 10 minutes.
• Ski Snowcross—because Snowboard Cross is too safe. I say we up the stakes—have them juggle chainsaws while they do it—blindfolded!

More to come, including the finale of women’s Figure Skating. Get ready for kissing and crying.

QISE Review - Winter Edition - Day 12

Catching up from last night…

• I wouldn’t say the weather in Sochi was lousy, but they’re using umbrellas on the ski lifts.
• Yet another “new” sport created by merging two existing ones—it’s Ski Halfpipe!
• We’re getting more teasers for women’s Figure Skating. First, Ryan Seacrest (who apparently didn’t have anything else to do), introduced Korean skater Una Kim, who is the biggest celebrity in her country.
• Second, they brought in Tara Lipinski and Johhny Weir, the buzzy couple from NBCSN morning coverage, to preview the competition with Costas. Keep in mind this was still a day before the event—brace yourself, folks.
• We get Davis and White getting their Ice Dancing gold medals to finish out the night. What—no shot of the “Moms”????

Moving onto Wednesday…

• Let the women’s figure skating profiles continue! Of course, the Peacock concentrates on the UDS team --Carillo with Polina Edmunds, Ohno with Gracie Gold, with a second Edmunds video before her performance. Is this a sign that Ashley Wagner had problems? NBC tends to telegraph such things via these video packages—they only want to concentrate on winners.

More to come.

QISE Review - Winter Edition - Day 11

Catching up from last night…

• Enough with the Canadian and US Ice Dancing partners training together! Get on with it!
• In late night, the US didn’t make the finals of Team Ski Jumping—hey, come back viewers!

Onto Tuesday’s coverage...

• The weather continues to cause havoc with the schedule and performances. One official tried to put a positive spin on it. Sixty degrees + Artificial snow + rain = great skiing conditions??
• 10000m Speed Skating isn’t the most riveting event to watch—the commentators spent about five minutes discussing if a competitor went over foul line or not. The DVR becomes your friend.
• Good to see Costas back again—although his eyes were looking a bit more red...
• As if Snowboard Cross isn’t difficult enough, now they have to do it in the rain?? It’s also a bit difficult for the viewer to keep everyone straight during the race.
• We're starting to get teases for women's Figure Skating, the marquis event of Winter QISE--they showed a few minutes of practice tonight, along with what will be MANY taped packages

More to come.

QISE Review - Winter Edition - Day 10

Catching up from last night…

• I realized why I’m enjoying Ice Dancing more than the Pair’s Skate. The former is (mostly) artistry, while the latter is artistry broken up with athletic jumps. 
• I am getting tired of NBC showing the same preview packages over and over. Yes, we know about Davis and White's “Moms”. Not paying your editors enough?

Onto Monday’s coverage…

• A lot of the outdoor sports were delayed due to fog. Tell me again why a subtropical location was a good choice for a Winter QISE?
• As prime time begins—Costas is back! Woo-hoo!! His eyes look better, although he’s still wearing the Harry Potter glasses.
• I was setting up the DVR for this week’s QISE coverage, and I noted that the other networks have basically given up during QISE—showing a LOT of reruns. Keep in mind we’re in February “sweeps”, when ad rates are set. Normally, the networks would be all new during February. Based on this, I’m surprised the QISE ratings aren’t as high as expected. Maybe it’s the Costas factor?
• As I watched the bobsled competition, I had another brainstorm for a new event: Four Men Bobsledshop Quartet. The competitors have to be fast AND in harmony. You could even get an NBC synergy—get “The Voice" judges involved! 
• Really, NBC? You’re going to air a “feature length” documentary about the Nancy Kerrigan/Tonya Harding debacle?? I’d rather see more Curling. Even Costas called it “rain delay theater”.
  

More to come.

QISE Review - Winter Edition - Day 9

Catching up from last night…

• US Speed Skaters are making a lot of excuses for their poor performance so far, mostly accusing the new suits they unveiled at QISE—to the point they went back to their older suits last night. Not the best advertisement for Under Armour, the creator of the new suits.
• Vieira interviewed former QISE skaters Tara Lipinski and Johhny Weir—most of the talk was about fashion—hmmm...
• Finally, in late night coverage—CURLING!! Woo-hoo!

Onto Sunday’s coverage…

• NBC is desperately trying to turn yesterday’s hockey match into “Miracle on Ice II—Electric Bugaloo”.  I don’t think so. A bunch of NHL players on the US team took on another bunch of NHL players on the Russian team—that’s it. DO YOU BELIEVE IN A THINLY VEILED ALL-STAR GAME??—YES!!
• Uh-oh…another Tom Brokaw piece. At least this one is related to QISE—Louis Zamparini, 1936 QISE runner and war hero. However, it looks more like an ad for upcoming film “Unbroken”, which just happens to be produced by Universal—got a little synergy going on, NBC? 
• As we go into prime time, Lauer’s back at the Fortress. I guess NBC could only stand so much Meredith.
• Snowboardcross is the NASCAR of snow events—it’s a good idea to be in front to avoid crashes.
• Mindy and I have been taking ballroom dancing lessons for a while—so this is the first time I’m really paying attention to Ice Dancing.
• We saw an actual, unrehearsed moment from Bode Miller tonight as he broke down after getting the bronze.

More to come.

QISE Review - Winter Edition - Day 8

A long weekend of QISE begins…

• Caught the end of the Men’s Figure Skating event. As skating becomes more athletic with more difficult jumps, scoring tends to be based on who fell the least times. After rookie Yuzuru Hanyu of Japan won the gold despite falling twice, commentator Scott Hamilton was apoplectic—he just about broke into tears.
• Considering that 99% of the coverage is on tape, it is rude for the Peacock to run late each night. They have absolute control over the schedule and how things are edited—just cut out a few replays. It’s basically a “screw you” to DVR users.
• NBC gets yet another ready-made backstory, this time from Short-Track Speed Skater Emily Scott. Her mother’s in jail (again), her dad works multiple jobs, she’s forced to use food stamps and crowdfunding after the US QISE Committee cuts her stipend—then her dad spends 86 hours getting to Sochi to see his daughter on the ice.
• I’m sure the athletes in sports not covered by NBC were happy that Tom Brokaw got a half hour slot to talk about the Space Race with the USSR.  If only NBC had a four hour morning show five days a week where this could have been aired...
• You know what’s less interesting than watching a hockey game in prime time? Watching a hockey game that a) was already shown on NBC Sports Network this morning and b) was already called by NBC on the Today Show and the QISE afternoon show. The Peacock is desperate for another “Miracle on Ice”, and this wasn’t it. In any case, I could have told you the US would win once I heard who was defending the Russian goal in the shootout—the goalie from the Columbus Blue Jackets.

More to come.

QISE Review - Winter Edition - Day 7

Finishing up week one…

• It’s difficult to generate gravitas in a brand new sport like Slopestyle. “This is the first time we’ve seen this move in the history of this competition!!” You mean since the last commercial when you introduced the event?
• The Peacock did a masterful job milking every drop of melodrama out of Evgani Plushenko’s abrupt withdrawal from Men’s Figure Skating. Showing him warming up, then a package about how much pressure was on him, then back to the ice and seeing him grimace. Plushenko cooperated by waiting until the last second to drop out. It’s amazing what you can manufacture with a 12 hour tape delay.
• Speaking of Figure Skating—Tom Hammond reminds me of old style newsreel announcers. His response when Jason Brown got up after a crash then completed his performance—“The fans appreciate his moxie!” Oh, and a hearty 23-skidoo to you!
• What’s the difference between Slopestyle and Aerials?  Aerials only has a single jump, so the rotation in the air has to be very impressive. It’s really more like diving in the summer games, with rigid rules and scoring.
• As prime time begins—Meredith Vieira, you’re up at the Fortress! Lauer is pulled after doing double duty in the morning and evening—good effort. Costas is still listed as day to day.
• NBC lucks out with a ready-made “adversity to victory” story from US Skeleton racer Noelle Pikus-Pace. Wife and mother, rising star, injured in freak accident, fights her way back, retires, then comes back again to get the silver. You couldn’t write this stuff.
• You know that NBC is worried they are losing viewers when you see “<more exciting event> in 7 minutes” at the corner of the screen.

More to come.

QISE Review - Winter Edition - Day 6

I missed taping the afternoon show, so this will be an abbreviated post.

• Tina Maze, co-winner of the gold in Downhill Skiing, is the #1 celebrity in her home country of Slovenia. She’s a pop star and model—imagine Beyonce was also a QISE gold medalist.
• Lauer in the anchor chair at the Fortress yet again—Costas, where art thou?
• With bright colors and skin tight design, speed skating uniforms are more like futuristic superhero costumes
• I have been very disappointed in the Peacock’s graphics package—it’s basically the same stuff from the last two or three games. Step it up, NBC!
• If you think Luge is too boring, try Skeleton—riding on your stomach, face first. The races are so fast, the commentators barely have time to go over each athlete’s backstory.
• “Slopestyle”? C’mon, International QISE Committee--just rename the entire event the X-QISE and be done with it.

More to come.

QISE Review - Winter Edition - Day 5

Catching up from last night—

• The commentator referred to the condition of the Halfpipe as “Slushy Flatbottom”. That was the name of my bluegrass band in college!
• What’s that sound, Shaun White? That’s the sound of your endorsements being cancelled.

Moving onto today’s coverage—

• The afternoon show covered Nordic Combined, which involves ski jumping and cross country skiing. The International QISE Committee seems to like combining existing sports, rather than coming up with new ones.
• May I suggest “Jumpstyle”—ski jumping with EXTREME tricks. Considering how long they are in the air, you could soon hear this commentary: “He’s going to try the “3960 Button-fly McFlurry—that’s 11 complete rotations—and he’s done it!!”
• During a ski jump, a commentator noted that the suit is supposed to fit tightly to avoid getting an aerodynamic advantage, and saw an issue with one of the skiers—“his crotch, frankly, seemed pretty low”. Don’t take that statement out of context, please.
• Most embarrassing event in QISE so far? Afternoon host Lester Holt comparing dance moves with US Luger Kate Hansen. It’s like your drunk uncle at a wedding.
• Lauer continued hosting prime time at the Fortress of Solitude. Meh.
• We’re seeing a trend of “old timers” trying to extend their careers and failing—namely, Shaun White and Shani Davis. It’s also a loss to the Peacock, as they miss two opportunities to push a storyline.
• Best QISE commercial so far—“Time to take a Charmin break”, which consisted of a Zamboni running over an ice rink and a 60 second countdown. Classy!

More to come.

QISE Review - Winter Edition - Day 4

The Today show managed to squeeze a non-spoiler into their 4 hour show—Costas is being pulled tonight from prime time coverage due to his eye infection, and Matt Lauer is coming in to relieve him.  On to the games!

• We have another new sport—“Ski Slopestyle”. Seems like a mouthful. Since the International QISE Committee is making up names anyway, how about “skistyle”? You’re welcome.
• Speaking of mouthful—the luge track is called the “Sanki Sliding Center” (technically, it’s Sliding Center Sanki). I hope no one involving is selling seashells by the seashore...
• So, Lauer stepped into the anchor chair at the Fortress of Solitude as prime time began. He doesn’t have Costas’ gravitas, and is better suited to morning happy talk.
• The short program for figure skating were originally based on very specific patterns—everyone did the same moves in the same way. As TV networks gained more control over QISE, that went out the window—now we just see short performances that look a lot like their final (longer) programs.
• The sub-tropical location of Sochi is—shockingly—creating issues with the snow. The Halfpipe is a prime example—it’s hard to “shred” in slush.
• The Peacock is doing a lame attempt at synergy with the Sochi QISE and the upcoming Captain America movie (which has the subtitle “The Winter Soldier”).  It really doesn’t work.

More to come.

QISE Review - Winter Edition - Day 3

We start out bright and early….

• ...when Matt Lauer broke the self-imposed Peacock rule—No Spoilers.
• He announced that Julia Mancuso was the winner of an event within the first 10 seconds of the Today show, 14 hours before the event would actually be broadcast. Thanks NBC—I can skip watching that tonight.
• Luge is a sport where you do 99% of the work at the start, and the rest is basically gravity. It’s the Pinewood Derby of winter sports.
• Mogul Skiing is the preferred sport for chiropractors. I would think that athletes in this sport are in wheelchairs by age 40.
• You know curling is boring when they spend more time on the wacky pants the “athletes” wear than the actual competition.
• Mogul skier Alex Bilodeau has a readymade “up close and personal story” designed to tear at the heartstrings—a brother with cerebral palsy—who ends up winning Canada’s first gold medal in Vancouver.
• Short track skating, especially at the longer distances, looks ridiculous. They all skate like senior citizens until the very end of the race, when it’s a frantic dash for the finish. Apollo Anton Ohno does a good job in front of the mike, though.

 More to come.

QISE Review - Winter Edition - Day 2

The first Sunday of the games…

• We begin with more of the “skiathlon” (silly name). There’s a point in the race where the athletes swap their skis—it’s rather like a pit stop in auto racing, and the announcers treat it as such.
• It’s been interesting to watch Hannah Kearney’s evolving response after winning what the Simpsons referred to as “shameful bronze”. She was clearly devastated when it happened (she was the reigning champion), but now she’s much more grateful. Did the QISE Committee reach out and warn her not to be such a downer?
• Costas’ eye isn’t looking much better tonight—perhaps some of the Kryptonian knowledge crystals behind him can provide a medical miracle.
• Ski jumping has been refined to the point that an “agony of defeat” moment is looking less unlikely.
• Usually, “local color” packages are rather meh—but Mary Carillo’s work is always interesting and funny. Tonight, she was off to Siberia.
• It used to be that you immediately knew how someone did in a scored event—did they get a 10 or not?  Now, you need the commentators to translate what 129.43 means.

Well, I’m wiped. More tomorrow.

QISE Review - Winter Edition - Day 1

The first “true” day of competition…

• Al Michaels takes over Fortress of Solitude duty for the afternoon
• “Skiathlon"? Really? There must be some ad agency generating random words, and the International QISE Committee creates sports to fit.
• As always, speed skating outfits leave little to the imagination. Sport clothing firms bring in aerospace firms to help reduce friction and drag.
• Biathlon = skiing and shooting = event for secret agents
• As the evening festivities begin, even Costas refers to the main studio as Superman’s icy fortress—called it!
• Ah, Ice Dancing—the red-headed stepchild of the skating world. The bad reputation is the result of a history of rigged judging, which is (supposedly) no longer the case.
• What is the compulsion of the crowd to clap along with the beat of skating music? You know it’s probably throwing off the skaters, right?
• We then go back to Slopestyle, brought to you by Monster Energy Drink and Axe Body Spray—EXTREME! COWABUNGA! C’mon kids—watch the QISE!
• The team figure skating event gives NBC more chances to manufacture the next “America’s Sweetheart” in Ladies’ Skating. Just put together an artsy “up close and personal” segment, add some breathless competition commentary, and you’re set—as long as the athlete comes through.

Tomorrow—the men’s downhill and more team skating.

QISE Review - Winter Edition - Day 0

…and we’re off, starting with a cinematic ode to Mother Russia, and segueing into an overblown introduction to the Winter QISE.

We then cut to the Fortress of Solitude for Costas and his benediction, with a handoff to Lauer, Vieira, and a Russian ringer at the stadium who vamp until the opening ceremonies begin. Oh, and Obama drops by. I guess presiding at major sporting events has become a part of Presidential duties.

Enough with the preliminaries—let the games begin!

• Mindy proclaimed the USA's outfits as “the worst ugly Christmas sweaters ever”
• Ugh—another dreamlike ceremony seen through the eyes of a young girl?  It’s been done.
• The giant snowflakes turning into the QISE rings—oh well, 4 out of 5 ain’t bad
• I’m impressed with the giant video display showing each country’s map during the athletes’ entrance. The futuristic ladies with the countries’ names? Not so much.
• If you’re going to hold an opening ceremony, you’ve got to have giant props and Cirque du Soleil dancers
• Nothing says QISE like dancers dressed as sea anemones
• Hey announcers—maybe you could explain who some of the famous Russians carrying the QISE flag are?
• 3+ hours later—we have a lit cauldron!

 Next—the games begin in earnest.